best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
