We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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