it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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