This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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