I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
