you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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