used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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