I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
