either way he was missing a nipple.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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