So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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