he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I want to be your penis for a week.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
