11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
