WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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