I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
