when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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