Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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