Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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