You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
