Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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