but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
