She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
