If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
