i always forget guys have bellybuttons
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
