Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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