bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There are leaves in my underwear?
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