Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
