Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
