I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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