just tell him i said nine months
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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