? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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