I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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