You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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