She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
