We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
