Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
