My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
