Already got asked if we're dating
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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