Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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