she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
