Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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