he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
