Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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  (651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward. http://tfl.nu/djmy
  Replies (64) Good night (1958) Bad night (8529)
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  (650): View more from California

  hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.

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  (650): hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america. http://tfl.nu/xe1m
  Replies (7) Good night (2847) Bad night (921)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid

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  (614): i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid http://tfl.nu/y6qj
  Replies (44) Good night (4647) Bad night (799)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.

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  (780): he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem. http://tfl.nu/ak11
  Replies (15) Good night (878) Bad night (4581)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches

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  (337): we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches http://tfl.nu/7vm5
  Replies (15) Good night (3996) Bad night (609)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We are two peas in an std pod

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  (630): We are two peas in an std pod http://tfl.nu/62ho
  Replies (12) Good night (1027) Bad night (5708)
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  (805): View more from California

  You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!

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  (805): You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius! http://tfl.nu/013j
  Replies (6) Good night (874) Bad night (1553)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.

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  (646): Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around. http://tfl.nu/mt6p
  Replies (7) Good night (646) Bad night (1383)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...

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  (503): Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night... http://tfl.nu/z9ky
  Replies (9) Good night (742) Bad night (1024)
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  (209): View more from California

  So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

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  (209): So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility http://tfl.nu/15q1
  Replies (7) Good night (1743) Bad night (1081)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...

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  (563): As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me... http://tfl.nu/pbqy
  Replies (6) Good night (3092) Bad night (661)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.

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  (815): It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/yfvq
  Replies (14) Good night (387) Bad night (982)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already

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  (302): Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already http://tfl.nu/utft
  Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (419)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?

  (1306): View more from

  HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!

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  (306): just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you? (1306): HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?! http://tfl.nu/7mrm
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (329)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic

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  (702): Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic http://tfl.nu/uomd
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (527)

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