hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
