just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"