I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
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Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.