so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
