ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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