Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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