good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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