too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
