just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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