i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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