I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
