at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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