i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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