Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I intend to get homeless drunk
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
