You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i think my cat just said my name.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
