so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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